22 Feb 2008
Dear Mary,
Your recent article in the newspaper was very timely for me. My sixty-one year old sister-in-law is moving into level seven of Alzheimer’s disease. Although I provide daily assistance, her husband is her primary caregiver. We are in need of information about available help for both of them. Her husband is disabled and in constant pain. There are many physical things he cannot do that I try to help him with. His wife can still walk and feed herself, but her speech is garbled and she is incontinent both day and night. She will not allow him to bathe or change her anymore and is very anxious, stubborn, and angry. It has come to the point where he feels helpless and is very depressed.
Until lately, I have been able to work with her. But now that she is so resistant I am of no help. Is there any assistance available for them?
Dear Reader,
Level seven is equivalent to stage three as identified by the Alzheimer’s Association. This is the last stage of the disease. The person is severely disabled and dependent for all needs. Behaviors arise from severe confusion and the inability to communicate or make sense of the environment.
Please call the Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116) for the number of the local Area Agency on Aging to speak to a Senior Information and Assistance specialist. This person will give you information about resources and services in your sister-in-law’s area.
Another resource is the Alzheimer’s Association (410-770-9766). Besides disease information they offer caregiver assistance that includes a twenty-four hour Helpline. The Helpline number is 1-800-272-3900.
Dear Mary,
I'm writing to ask how to get mental health care for someone who does not think it is needed. For many years my seventy-eight year old step-mother has accused me and other family members of petty theft and damaging her furniture, dishes, clothes, etc. We have finally come to realize she truly believes this delusion. As my eighty-four year old father ages, I am more and more concerned about the effect her behavior has on him. We have tried to get her help, but she refused it. This is a very brief description of the situation. Any insight or advice on the subject would be appreciated.
Dear Reader,
Someone with a long-standing history of mental illness sees his or her behavior as normal. Thus, it is not probable that your step-mother will recognize she has a problem. You do not say whether or not she sees a primary care physician. If she does, she may respond to “an order” to see a “specialist” in the form of a psychiatrist.
Talk openly with your father and find out just how much his wife's behavior affects him. It is possible that he is so used to it he has learned to ignore her. However, if the situation is harmful and he is unable to remove himself due to disability, Adult Protective Services should be called. Each county has its own department and a call to 800-917-7383 will direct you to the one servicing your area. On the other hand, if he is not disabled but needs assistance during a hostile episode, The Maryland Crisis Hotline can be accessed by dialing 1-800-422-0009. This program responds to immediate mental health problems 24-hours a day, 7-days a week and can guide you towards services. Of course, if it is an emergency dial 911.
Dear Mary,
Can you direct me to a doctor who specializes in Parkinson’s disease? I feel my mother’s primary physician has lost interest in her.
Dear Reader,
Parkinson's disease is a progressive neurological disorder that should be closely monitored. As it progresses, medications need to be frequently tweaked and the person monitored for side-effects and new symptoms. Neurologists are the physicians who do this best. You can ask her doctor for a referral or call the local hospital for names and numbers. The National Parkinson Foundation can also help; log onto their website at www.parkinson.org and click on “Find Resources” then scroll down to “Search for a Physician”.
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