15 Jan 2008
Dear Mary,
I hope you have an answer for me. My parents are in their late seventies and my father suffers from Parkinson’s disease. It was diagnosed five years ago and his health is declining. He hallucinates, has terrible memory problems, and falls all the time because he doesn’t remember to use his walker. Mother is his primary caregiver and she is the one I’m worried about. She has not been to the doctor in over a year. Her excuse is she doesn’t have time to go. I’ve noticed she doesn’t care about her appearance anymore and rarely sees her friends. I’ve offered to stay with Dad so she can get out, but she refuses the offers. I think she is depressed. She goes to their family doctor with my father, but he never asks her how she’s doing. I don’t understand how the physician cannot see the change in her. He’s been her doctor for more than ten years. What can I do?
Dear Reader,
Depression in caregivers is very common. Studies have shown that it affects nearly 50% of them. There are more than 40 million caregivers in America. Contrary to general belief, 80% of caregiving is done by families in the community not in institutions. Most are woman age 50 or over and at least half of them are employed. Added to their burdens are other family issues, financial stress, and fear of losing their jobs. But depression is not the only concern. Stress increases the risk of heart disease and cancer. A study done on spousal caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients showed that they had a 60% higher risk of death than non-caregivers their age. For theses reasons, the Family Caregiver Alliance identifies caregiver stress as a public health issue.
It is time physicians realize they have not one, but two patients. The health and well-being of the care-receiver depends on the good health and well-being of the caregiver. Physicians need to inquire about caregiver stress, ask if they have respite help, and be able to refer them to appropriate resources. They should also advise them to come in for routine check-ups.
Don’t delay in having a heart-to-heart talk with your mother. Tell her how worried you are and offer to set up a medical appointment, then make the necessary arrangements for your Dad and take her there. Email, fax, or call your mother’s doctor in advance to inform him about your concerns. I also suggest you call Information and Assistance at the local Area Agency on Aging for resources and services to help with your father’s care.
Dear Mary,
My mother has dementia. Her memory for people and places is very poor. She has no idea what day or time it is and most of the time she does not recognize anyone. The interesting thing is that she can still iron clothes, something she always enjoyed. Will this memory, too, go away and should I allow her to continue to do this?
Dear Reader,
This activity is based on procedural memory: doing something over and over again. It will eventually go away. As long as it gives her pleasure she can continue to do it, but someone must be present to watch out for her safety. When she reaches the point of not being able to handle a hot iron, she may be content using a cold one. It is the memory of the motion that becomes important.
Dear Reader,
The Anne Arundel County Department of Aging and Disabilities Winter/Spring caregiver workshops are here. The series of three starts with, Is There Help Out There? Resources and Services; the second is titled, Elder Speak: When a loved one won’t listen, and the third is, I’m not Waving, I’m Drowning: Emotions and coping skills. They are being held at all seven senior centers as well as the MarylandCity Nutrition Site. Please call 410-222-4464 ext. 3043 to register. I look forward to seeing you.
Mary C. Fridley RN, BC
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