4 Nov 2007
The Caregivers Corner – November 4, 2007
I am bothered by the lack of information from the nursing home. My brother has been a resident for almost three months and I have yet to meet or talk to the doctor. I have left messages with the nurse to have him call me back, but to no avail. I was promised a meeting would be scheduled with the nursing staff shortly after he was admitted, but even that has not happened. My brother is in a semi-conscious state from a massive stroke. Should I assume he is getting the care he needs? What rights do I have as his next of kin?
Dear Reader,
Unless the resident states otherwise, family members are expected to be involved with his or her care. Families have the right to make inquiries and attend all planning conferences related to their loved ones. According to federal law, a comprehensive Resident Assessment (RA) must be completed by all disciplines involved in the care (nursing, dietary, rehabilitation, medical, social work, and activities), including family, within fourteen days of admission and a care plan developed within seven days of the RA. The care plan must be reviewed every three months or sooner if there is a major change in a resident’s health. Since your brother is unable to speak for himself, the Social Worker should have invited you to attend the RA and the care planning meeting.
You also have the right to speak to his doctor but, since your requests have been ignored, you can get the name and phone number from your brother’s record and make the call personally. However, the nursing staff is in a better position to give you a comprehensive report since they are responsible for keeping the doctor informed.
As for assuming he is receiving the care he needs, I have learned through experience never to make assumptions. My mother is a nursing home resident and unless my family and I ask we are not always informed. I encourage you to call the Social Worker and schedule a meeting. If you still get the run-a-round file a complaint with an ombudsman at the Department of Aging and Disabilities (410-222-4464). That should get their attention.
Dear Mary,
My elderly mother lives alone but I stop by daily after work to make her dinner. Every time I see her she accuses me of being angry with her. I tell her I’m not, but she does not believe me and we end up arguing. How can I reassure her?
Dear Reader,
Actions speak louder than words, so pay attention to your behavior. Are you rushed and focused on tasks when you visit? Does your body language display underlying anxiety?
The next time you visit take a deep calming breath before opening the door. Enter with a smile and sit with your mother for a few minutes. Hold her hand and tell her how happy you are to see her then ask her to help you prepare dinner. Showing her you care will reassure her and makes for a pleasant visit.
Dear Mary,
Just curious, when are we officially “old”?
Dear Reader,
Science has assigned age equivalences for young-old (65-74), old (75-84), old-old (85-99) and oldest-old (100+) but age truly is a mindset. I know people in their sixties who think of themselves as old and act accordingly. On the other hand, I know people in their nineties who are youthful in attitude and never describe themselves as old. To my way of thinking they validate the saying, “you’re as young as you feel”.
Mary C. Fridley RN, BC
| 