17 Jun 2007
The Caregivers Corner – June 17, 2007
Dear Mary,
I am having a very difficult time accepting the fate of my 82 year old father. He has Parkinson’s disease and is failing rapidly. I am thankful he is able to live at home and afford round-the-clock care, but thinking about his suffering just tears me apart. I know I need to accept what is happening because I know I cannot change it, but to me acceptance means giving up. Do you have any words of advice for me?
Dear Reader,
Acceptance is not giving up. It is recognizing that the situation “is what it is” and then moving forward to make the best of it. Why some people suffer and others do not is the question of the ages. Is it that life is predestined or is it all luck? Whatever the answer you have to accept and respect where your father is in his human journey and do what you can to ensure his quality of life. The quality of life he can now enjoy is limited by the constraints of his disease. To be free from pain and enjoy your visits may be all that he needs. A support group will help you give voice to your feelings and receive wisdom and comfort from others. Please call the Department of Aging and Disabilities at 410-222-4464 for meetings in your area.
Dear Mary,
I remember reading a column you wrote a while ago about how to keep an older person safe in the summer and wonder if you would print the information again. My family and I are planning to take my elderly parents to the beach and I worry about the heat. They are frail and have had several falls recently. My father also has a form of dementia and is easily confused but gets great pleasure from being with family.
Dear Reader,
The intense summer heat makes the task of keeping older loved ones safe very difficult - and taking them to the beach even harder. I hope this information helps to make your vacation more enjoyable.
Heat intolerance is a concern for all of us as we get older - and with good reason: we dry up and dry out. As we age we lose the fluid reserves so readily available when we were younger and our thirst sensitivity diminishes. This puts us at greater risk for dehydration. Some of the first signs of dehydration are confusion, dizziness, and falling. We are also more susceptible to hyperthermia (high internal body temperature) because sweating, which is the body’s cooling mechanism, decreases. Signs and symptoms of hyperthermia include headache, nausea, fatigue, and muscle spasms.
Prevention is the key to safety. It is wise to limit the amount of time your parents spend outside and keep them in an air-conditioned environment as much as possible. Always have plenty of clear fluids on hand and offer them frequently - don’t wait for your loved ones to ask. Fruits with high water content like watermelon, grapes, and oranges are good sources of fluid as is any food that melts at room temperature like Jell-O or sherbet.
Because older skin burns faster than younger skin, be sure they sit under a large umbrella when on the beach and wear sunscreen with a skin protection factor (SPF) of at least 15.
Lack of insight, judgment and awareness from dementia puts your father at greater risk for injury. Someone should be with him at all times, especially if he is near the water. He may become more confused and agitated in a strange environment, so give him constant reassurance and surround him with familiar faces. He will also need a quiet room to retreat to. It is important that you adhere to his usual daily routine for waking, eating, and sleeping.
Falling is the number one fear of all older adults and your parents are at even greater risk due to their disabilities. Sand, especially, is an unstable walking ground so be sure they wear sturdy shoes, not floppy sandals, and have someone available to assist them.
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Mary C. Fridley RN, BC
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