8 Nov 2009
Dear Mary,
Can you direct me to a web site that provides forms and guidance for living wills, advance directives and health powers of attorney?
Dear Reader,
Yes, and you should know that each state has its own laws and regulatory forms. In Maryland you can download the Advance Directive form the Attorney General’s site at http://www.oag.state.md.us/Healthpol/adirective.pdf. It provides for both living will and the assignment of a health agent to make decisions when a person is no longer capable of making them himself. Outside of Maryland, I direct you to the U.S. Living Will Registry (http://www.uslivingwillregistry.com) for specific state information.
Dear Mary,
I remember you wrote a column last year about planning for the holidays. Can you give me some tips? My mother has stage 2 Alzheimer’s disease and has come to live with me and my family. What do I need to know to enjoy them?
Dear Reader,
Caregivers walk a tightrope balancing responsibilities with expectations, and the added stress and exhaustion of the holidays creates a perfect environment for ill health. This year with the threat of H1N1 flu it is most important to be vigilant about your health. Tips: keep hand sanitizer with you at all times and use it frequently; avoid touching your face with unwashed hands; and avoid crowds.
Good health starts with eating healthfully and staying hydrated – alcohol doesn’t count! Nutritious food and drink as well as daily exercise and good sleep provide much needed energy to get you through the hectic days. Make lists to keep you on track and shop smartly like early in the day or during the dinner hour on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment, avoid the mall on weekends. Practice relaxing with slow breathing and listening to calming music.
Don’t take on more than you can handle. Enjoy the moments and embrace the opportunities not just the obligations. If you’re cooking a meal, make a little extra to bring to a house-bound neighbor or friend.
Instead of making a meal for twenty people, think outside the box and host a pot-luck dinner. Provide the main course and have others bring the side dishes.
Say “So what?” when things don’t go as planned. If the cookies come out of the oven and then onto the floor go with the “5 second rule” or toss them and move on.
Your mother will be aware of the commotion around her but may not be able to make sense of it. The hustle and bustle is confusing and makes conditions favorable for unwanted behaviors.
Maintain her normal daily structure and routine as much as possible. Putting time limits on activities will prevent exhaustion while minimizing noise and exposure to crowds will prevent agitation. Schedule daily rest periods and provide a quiet room for her to retreat to when overwhelmed. If you are invited to a party, consider hiring someone to stay with her. Taking her along may prove disastrous and neither of you will have a good time. This is the perfect opportunity, and excuse, to try community respite like adult day center or in home care.
Activities should be structured to her abilities. Involve her in baking, decorating and any preparatory activities she can manage. Play music, sing old songs, and reminisce with photos and storytelling.
And my best advice ever is: find the humor in disappointing situations and laugh!
Dear Readers,
I’ll be teaching the Caregiver 101 course for the Department of Aging and Disabilities at the Arnold Senior Activity Center on Saturday November 14 from 9 am to 12 noon. Attendees will learn how to prepare for hospital or facility discharge, how to choose a facility and advocate for quality care, how to provide hands-on tasks like bathing and transferring, as well as learn about nutrition, hydration, incontinence, and medication management. You can register by calling 410-222-4464 ext. 3043 or on line at www.aacounty.org/aging/needingcare/compcaregiver.cfm. I look forward to seeing you there.
| 
