2 Oct 2008
Dear Mary,
I have been struggling to understand dementia. My husband was diagnosed in April with “dementia of the Alzheimer’s type”. The Alzheimer’s Association was wonderful and sent me some great information, but I still have a lot of questions. Are there any classes I can attend in the community?
Dear Reader,
Yes, and I’m delighted you asked. Through the county Department of Aging and Disabilities’ Family Caregiver Program I am conducting a series of workshops at each of the seven Senior Activity Centers this fall including the Maryland City Nutrition Site. Topics include: dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, what they’re all about; how to communicate with a dementia-affected loved one; and how to manage difficult behaviors. The workshops are directed towards family caregivers but are open to the community. Professional caregivers who attend will receive a certificate of attendance. You can register by calling 410-222-4464 x 3043. I look forward to seeing you.
Dear Mary,
My mother has arthritis that severely limits her mobility. She used to love to soak in a warm tub to ease her joints but is no longer able to get in or out of one. Do you know of any equipment that would help her to get into a tub again? Will Medicare pay for it?
Dear Reader,
Yes, I do, but Medicare pays for only medically necessary equipment and this is not considered medical or necessary. There are a couple of options available to you; one more costly than the other. The first is a walk-in tub that starts at around $2500.00 – installation not included. Another is a portable battery operated bath lift chair with prices starting at approximately $1000.00. Although the lift chair is less expensive, there may be weight and other limitations. An internet search will direct you to several sites for these products. Be sure to research the equipment thoroughly before buying to insure it will meet your needs.
Dear Mary,
Do you know the old saying, “too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the broth”? Well, I’m dealing with too many caregivers in the bedroom. Due to his advanced age my father is bedridden. He lives with me and I’m his primary caregiver. I willingly took on the job knowing how hard it would be. But the biggest problem I face is my two sisters. They come over without notice and go about telling and showing me how to do a better job. I was a nursing assistant for several years and know how to do this kind of work. Their visits are disruptive and offensive. I feel guilty telling them not to visit because he is their father, too, and will not be with us much longer. How should I handle this?
Dear Reader,
You have the right to set rules in your own home, so don’t ask but tell them to call before coming. Better yet, set up a schedule for visiting that allows you to leave and take a break from your caregiving duties - I’m sure they would like some time with their father without you hanging around, too. This can be done without causing hard feelings if you work out a plan together. I also recommend you talk to them honestly about how their comments and actions make you feel. Holding these feelings in only creates more stress to your life. If they persist in their old ways, you can suggest they take turns caring for him in their homes. Good luck.
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