15 Jan 2009
When Life Throws You a Curveball, Duck!
Some people slowly evolve into caregivers. Others are caught off-guard and neck deep in quicksand before they know it. Either way, caregivers embark on a journey that tests their physical, emotional, and spiritual strengths.
The journey is like a baseball game, one inning you’re up, the next you’re down. To play the game successfully caregivers must be able to separate the big stuff from the small stuff. Big stuff is health and safety. Anything that happens to jeopardize either is worthy of worry. Small stuff is everyday nuisances caregivers feel compelled to control. Take dressing for example. Is it really worth the energy to stress over your father mixing a striped shirt with plaid pants? I understand the concern if he’s going out in public, but at home this is what I call a “So what?” So what if they don’t match? The good news is he can still dress himself and you don’t have to.
Like baseball the journey has many surprise plays and caregivers are hit by the unexpected. Becoming knowledgeable about the cause of the disease or illness, how it will progress, and knowing normal signs and symptoms helps to prepare for what happens next. Reaching out for resources to agencies like the Department of Aging and Disabilities and consulting with an attorney about financial matters improves reaction time and eliminates the dread of “what if?”
There are many studies that show laughing improves and maintains health. But what’s so funny about caregiving? Erma Bombeck said, “Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage." Humor surrounds us and is found in the most unexpected places – like the many daily missteps and ridiculous situations no one would ever imagine. Take one of my many trips to visit to my hard-of-hearing, short, and rather round mother. She had always been a kind person, never spoke badly about others, and surely never tolerated it from her children. On this particular visit I took her to the one-and-only grocery store in town to stock up on necessities. The people who worked there had done so for years and, as we went up and down the aisles, Mom reintroduced them to me. Finally done, we got in the checkout line with me pinned between the front of the cart and another shopper. As I was putting the groceries on the conveyor belt a beautiful young - but very large - woman walked by. My mother saw her and loudly exclaimed, “Will you look at the rear end on her”! My head popped up and all eyes were on me! To my dismay, the floor didn’t open and swallow me up. I was mortified, but now when I think about it I can’t help but laugh.
Caregivers are a unique group of people. What sets them apart is their resourcefulness in time of need, stamina in time of exhaustion, strength in time of weakness, and perseverance in time of futility. Kind of like a baseball team behind in the ninth inning that rallies to win.
Keep up the good work and watch those curve balls.
Blessings, Mary
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