Do you rush in to save your loved ones when confronted by their neediness or do you withdraw and hide? Either action creates anxiety born from the inability to separate emotionally from the situation and set firm boundaries. The purpose of boundaries is to protect us from harm and preserve emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. And it all comes down to saying “no” and allowing others to help.

The first step is to write supportive affirmations in a journal and repeat them frequently:  “I have the right to set boundaries that protect me”; “My health and well-being are important";  and "I will allow others to help”.  Next, make a list of caregiving duties that drain you, that you cannot do, or that you do not want to do. Make a list of who can help then pick up the phone and start calling. The worst that can happen is the person says no. Will this response make things any different than they are now? Be pleasant but direct. For example: “Hello, Sally. You said if I ever needed your help to give you a call. I need someone to stay with mother for a couple of hours on Tuesday while I go to the dentist. Can you come over?” Avoid apologizing. After-all, Sally offered and you are taking her up on it. If she says she is not available, tell her you will try again another time and then go on to the next person on your list.